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Marital Infidelity good or bad?

Marital infidelity is difficult to research because most people are reluctant to admit it. One survey made headlines showing that only a tiny percentage of spouses cheat. But the researchers interviewed respondents with their spouses present. Duh!

Even without spouses, results depend on how questions are asked. University of Colorado researchers surveyed 4,800 married women using face-to-face interviews and an anonymous questionnaire. In the interviews, only 1 percent said they'd cheated during the past year. But the anonymous questionnaire showed 6 percent.

Marital Infidelity good or bad?

Meanwhile, controversy clouds the definition of "infidelity." Most say it's sex with anyone who isn't your spouse. But what about spouses who are separated but not divorced? What about open marriages? And don't-ask-don't-tell marriages? Is infidelity any sex outside of marriage? Or secret sex? What about people in heterosexual marriages who have homosexual flings? Finally, does cheating require intercourse? What if you have only oral sex? Or handjobs? Or passionate kissing?

Arguably the best research on this subject is the General Social Survey (GSS) conducted annually since 1972 by University of Chicago researchers. For 37 years, they have asked a representative national sample about infidelity. The results have been consistent. Every year, 10 percent of spouses admit cheating--12 percent of men, 7 percent of women.

But in our culture, men with multiple partners are often envied as studs, while similar women are dismissed as sluts. As a result, we would expect men to admit infidelity more freely. In many non-Western cultures, anthropologists have found no gender differences in infidelity rates. Perhaps the same is true for us, but cultural assumptions color admissions.

Recently, the GSS has shown two notable changes--more cheating by spouses over 60 and under 35. These changes have been modest, so it's hard to know if they are real. But many social scientists contend they are, and have proposed explanations.

Among older folks, the reason most often cited is health. Sex tracks health. Today 60 is the new 40, which might explain the rise in cheating among older spouses. However, while many of today's 60-somethings are healthier than their counterparts a generation ago, today we have much more diabetes, a condition that often causes sexual impairment, and substantially more obesity, which may make people feel unattractive, and raises risk of arthritis, heart disease, and cancer, all of which reduce libido and sexual function. In addition, older adults take considerably more medications than they did a generation ago. Many drugs cause sex problems, notably, antidepressants and blood pressure medications. So, does better health in those over 60 explain the increases in infidelity? Maybe, maybe not.

Another oft-cited reason for horny elders is erection medication, which some say has encouraged older men to cheat. But two recent studies show that only 10 percent of men over 50 have even tried these drugs, let alone become regular users. With erection medications used by so few older men, how much of a difference could they make?

Maybe rising infidelity has to do with more working women, particularly women traveling on business, which provides opportunities to dally discreetly. But homemakers of yore had plenty of opportunities for extra-marital sex: the postman, milkman, repairmen, and delivery men of all stripes. Meanwhile, cheating is up only in women over 60 and under 35. If travel explains the increase, why hasn't it risen in women 35 to 59? Most of them work outside the home, and many travel on business.

The fact is, no one knows the true prevalence of marital infidelity and every explanation for supposedly rising rates is open to serious question. What do you think?

Date: 16-03-2011, 23:31 | Category: Article | Views: 2121

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Date: 16-03-2011, 00:20 | Category: Article | Views: 2960

How Does soft drugs Affect YOUR Sex?

Recently, I listened as a prominent sex researcher summarized the sexual impairment caused by dozens of drugs, both legal and illicit. Her list included marijuana. Afterward, several in the audience asked why.

"Because it's sex-inhibiting," she replied.

"No it isn't," several countered. They all agreed it was sex-enhancing.

How Does soft drugs Affect YOUR Sex?

The presenter immediately pulled out her citation, one lone report published 40 years previously showing that marijuana reduced testosterone by up to half, enough for many women and some men to suffer libido loss.

Returning home, I delved into the literature and discovered what this researcher had failed to mention. The study she cited triggered a flurry of reports on marijuana and testosterone. Those studies, published in the late 1970s, showed no significant marijuana-induced suppression of the hormone, and no significant loss of libido or sexual impairment in lovers who used it, even frequent users.

During the 1980s, several studies considered pot's effects on lovemaking. The results were all over the map, from strongly sex-inhibiting to strongly sex-enhancing. The best report, based on interviews with 97 adults in Kansas City, showed that "over two-thirds reported increased sexual pleasure and satisfaction with marijuana use. About half of both sexes also reported increased sexual desire while using marijuana. Emotional closeness and physical enjoyment of snuggling were also enhanced." But one-third said the drug was not sex-enhancing, and half reported no increase in desire. [Weller, RA and JA Halikas, "Marijuana Use and Sexual Behavior," Journal of Sex Research (1984) 20:186.]

That was pretty much where things stood for 20 years.

Then, in 2003, Canadian researchers interviewed 104 Toronto adults about their reactions to marijuana. Did it increase libido? One-quarter said it "often" or "always" did, 40 percent said "sometimes," and one-third said it "seldom" or "never" enhanced their sexual desire. About half called the drug sex-enhancing, but half said it was not. One-third said sexual enhancement was a key reason they used weed, but half said sex played little, if any, role in their use of the drug. [Hathaway, AD, "Cannabis Effects and Dependency Concerns in Long-Term Frequent Users," Addiction Research and Theory (2003) 11:441]

In 2008, another Canadian team interviewed 41 adults. About half said marijuana boosted their libidos, increased sensitivity to touch, and enhanced erotic pleasure. But half said it did not. [Osborne GB and C Fogel. "Understanding the Motivations for Recreational Marijuana Use Among Canadians," Substance Use and Misuse (2008) 43:539]

This range of findings is pharmacologically unique. The sexual effects of every other mood-altering drug--alcohol, amphetamines, antidepressants, cocaine, narcotics--are well-documented, fairly consistent, and not particularly controversial. But oddly, marijuana's sexual effects are highly unpredictable, from strongly sex-inhibiting to strongly sex-enhancing. Those who call it sex-inhibiting typically report that it pulls them deep inside themselves, so far inward that they lose their sense of connection to their partner. Meanwhile those who call marijuana sex-enhancing usually say that it boosts desire, adds to enjoyment of sensual touch, helps them feel closer to their partner, and enhances overall sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

Unfortunately, all three of studies I mentioned involved small numbers of participants (97, 104, and 41). Let's correct that. How does marijuana affect you sexually? Is it sex-inhibiting? Sex-neutral? Or sex-enhancing?

And please encourage your friends to weigh in on this issue. Results from surveys involving self-selected samples can't be considered definitive, but the larger the number of respondents, the greater the credibility of the results, which I promise to tally in a future blog post.

Date: 15-03-2011, 22:19 | Category: Article | Views: 1894

All Different Orgasms Are the.

Sigmund Freud touted two kinds of orgasms in women, clitoral and vaginal. More recently, other pundits have added a third kind to the list, the G-spot orgasm. It might appear that women can have three different kinds of orgasms, while men must get by with only one. Actually, male or female, there's only one kind of orgasm, but orgasms can feel different depending on the circumstances and what triggers them.

In both men and women, orgasm involves contractions of the pelvic floor muscles that run between the legs forming a figure-eight around the genitals and anus. With sufficient erotic arousal, these muscles suddenly experience a series of rapid, wavelike contractions, usually four to ten contractions separated by less than a second. One full set of contractions equals one orgasm. In addition, most orgasms include involuntary movement of the hips, chest, head, and/or limbs.

All Different Orgasms Are the.

In women, the muscle contractions of orgasms are usually, but not always, visible as contractions of the anal sphincter and the vaginal opening. In some women, orgasm also releases fluid (female ejaculation), from the glands the surround the urethra (paraurethral glands, e.g. Skene's glands). Most women who ejaculate release a teaspoon or less, but some release considerably more. This fluid is not urine. It's more like men's prostatic fluid. Most women can have only one orgasm per interlude, but some (it's not exactly clear how many but a small minority) can have two or more in rapid succession (multiple orgasm).

In men, orgasm typically includes ejaculation of semen. However, different nerves control orgasm and ejaculation. It's possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating (dry ejaculation), usually the result of spinal cord injury or prostate surgery. It's also possible for men to ejaculate without experiencing orgasm (numb come), often because of alcohol intoxication or feeling turned off by the woman or the sex. I've never seen any credible reports of men having multiple orgasms as some women do, but men in their teens and twenties can often raise new erections shortly after orgasm and come again in less than an hour. However, as men age, the time between orgasm and the possibility of a new erection (refractory period) grows longer and may take many hours.

All orgasms result from serial contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. Physiologically, all orgasms are the same. Then why the distinctions among the clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot varieties?

I respect much of what Freud had to say, but when it comes to sexuality, ol' Siggy was sadly misinformed. In his view, clitoral orgasms were the province of emotionally immature women. Mature women had vaginal orgasms. If Freud is right, then only 25 percent of women are mature because only 25 percent of women are reliably orgasmic from intercourse alone. Women's pleasure organ is the clitoris. A great deal of research shows that 75 percent of women need direct clitoral caresses to experience orgasm.

All Different Orgasms Are the.

Meanwhile, some--but not all--women enjoy particularly intense orgasms from massage of the tissue two knuckles or so in, on the front vaginal wall (the top if the she's on her back). This is a G-spot orgasm.

But no matter which orgasm a woman has--clitoral, vaginal, or G-spot--physiologically, all orgasms are the same. So why do they feel different?

Consider laughter. Physiologically, it's all the same, but laughs vary from subtle giggles to knee-slapping guffaws. Consider sneezes. Physiologically all the same, but they vary from little snorts to explosions that might take out windows.

All orgasms are the same, but they feel different based on several factors:

Type of stimulation. If the orgasm was triggered by clitoral caresses, intercourse, G-spot stimulation, or other erotic touch (vibrators, anal, etc.)

Context. Orgasms in exciting, new, just-fell-in-love relationships are usually more earth-moving than the physiologically identical response in old married couples.

Duration of lovemaking. Longer sessions--with lots of touching all over everywhere--typically produce more intense climaxes.

Drugs. Some people say that marijuana and some other herbs are O-enhancing. But sex while drunk often produces disappointing O's.

I hope people, both men and women, stop feeling hung up on the "kind" of orgasms they or their lovers experience. Instead of wondering why you or a lover has or doesn't have orgasms one way or another, the important thing is to provide safe, gentle, loving, nurturing caresses that allow both partners to relax deeply and become aroused enough to come--however it happens.

Date: 15-03-2011, 22:10 | Category: Article | Views: 2295


BDSM is a consensual lifestyle choice, or type of adult roleplay between two or more individuals. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&s), sadism and masochism (S&M)

BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the fact that the participants usually take on complementary, but unequal roles, thus the idea of consent of both the partners becomes essential. Typically participants who are active applying the activity or exercising control over others are known as tops or dominants. Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners are typically known as bottoms or submissives. Individuals who assume both top/dominant and bottom/submissive roleswhether from relationship to relationship or within one relationshipare known as switches.


Fundamentals BDSM
A woman is chained to the wall in bondage.

The term BDSM has become a broad term for eroticized behavior between consenting adults. There is little that unites all the disparate subcultures which are grouped under the umbrella term BDSM. Interpersonal relationships which are based on the social conventions of one of the BDSM subcultures, exist in marked contrast with the current Western ideal of such relationships being based on a partnership between equals.

While the terminology for roles varies widely within the various BDSM subcultures, Top and Dominant are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity which are respectively the physically active or controlling participants, and Bottom and Submissive are widely recognized terms for those partner(s) in the relationship or activity which are respectively the physically receptive or controlled participants. The interaction between Tops and Bottoms, where physical and/or mental control of the Bottom is surrendered to the Top whether in the context of a short term encounter typically referred to as a scene, or in the context of a longer-term relationship is sometime known as power exchange.

BDSM actions can often take place during a specific period of time agreed to by both parties, referred to as "play", "a scene" or "a session". Parties involved usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices that are performed, such as inflicting pain, humiliation or being restrained would be considered unpleasant under normal circumstances. Sexual intercourse, be it oral, anal or vaginal, may occur within a session, but is not essential.[2] Such explicit sexual interaction is seen only extremely rarely in public play spaces, and is often a violation of the standing rules in most spaces.

The fundamental principles for the exercise of BDSM require that it should be performed by responsible partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way. Since the 1980s these basic principles have been condensed into the motto "Safe, sane and consensual", abbreviated as SSC, which means that everything is based on safe, sane and consenting behavior of all involved parties. This mutual consent makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and crimes such as sexual assault or domestic violence.

Some BDSM practitioners prefer a code of behavior that differs from "SSC" and described as "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being. RACK focuses primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices. Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safeword will be used, what that is, etc.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding can often be summarized in a written "contract"; an agreement of what can and cannot take place.

In general, it must be possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent; for example, by using a safeword that was agreed on in advance.[8][9] Failure to honor a safeword is considered serious misconduct and could even change the sexual consent situation into a crime, depending on the relevant law, since the bottom has explicitly revoked his or her consent to any actions which follow the use of the safeword (see Legal status)


Safety BDSM
See also: Negotiation (BDSM) and Risk-aware consensual kink

Aside from the general advice related to safe sex, BDSM sessions often require a wider array of safety precautions than typical vanilla sex (sexual behavior without BDSM elements).

To ensure consensus related to BDSM activity, pre-play negotiations are commonplace, especially among partners who do not know each other very well. These negotiations concern the interests and fantasies of each partner and establish a framework.This kind of discussion is a typical "unique selling proposition" of BDSM sessions and quite commonplace. Additionally, safewords are often arranged to provide for an immediate stop of any activity if any participant should so desire. Safewords are, by definition, not commonly used words during any kind of play. Such things as "no", "stop", and "don't", are not appropriate as a safeword due to the tendency for people to say those things without meaning it. A safeword needs to be something you can remember and call to mind when things are either not going as planned or have crossed a threshold you cannot handle. The most common used form of safewords are "green", "yellow", and "red". "Red" meaning to stop and there would be no further play. "Yellow" being, "This is getting too intense". "Green" meaning that everything is okay.

Participants of BDSM understand practical safety aspects; for instance they recognize which parts of the human body have a risk of damage to nerves and blood vessels by contusion or have a high risk of scar development. Using crops, whips or floggers, the top's fine motor skills and anatomical knowledge can make the difference between a satisfying session for the bottom, and a highly unpleasant experience that may even entail severe physical harm. The very broad range of different BDSM "toys" and physical and psychological control techniques often requires a far-reaching knowledge of details related to the requirements of the individual session, such as anatomy, physics, and psychology. Despite these risks BDSM activities usually result in far less severe injuries than sports like boxing and football, and BDSM practioners do not visit emergency rooms more often than the general population.

It is necessary to be able to identify each person's psychological squicks or "freakouts" in advance in order to avoid them. Such losses of emotional balance due to sensory or emotional overload are a fairly common issue. It is important to follow their reactions empathetically and continue or stop accordingly.

Aspects BDSM

The initialism BDSM includes psychological and physiological facets:

* Bondage & Discipline (B&D)
* Dominance & Submission (D&S)
* Sadism & Masochism (or Sadomasochism) (S&M)
* Types of Play

This model for differentiating among these three aspects of BDSM is increasingly used in literature today. Nevertheless, it is only an attempt at phenomenological differentiation. Individual tastes and preferences in the area of sexuality may overlap among these areas, which are discussed separately here.

Bondage and discipline BDSM
Main articles: Bondage and Discipline
Two women tapegagged and cuffed to iron bars

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Date: 10-03-2011, 17:22 | Category: Article | Views: 3240

All Myth about sex. / All information about sex.

Vibrators: Myths vs. Truth
Some women don't use vibrators for fear of harm.

Vibrators are by far the most popular sex toy. According to a recent nationally representative survey by University of Indiana researchers, 53 percent of American women have used them. But some women don't use vibrators for fear of harm, and many men wonder what a woman's use of a vibrator means. I hope to set the record straight.

Myth: Vibrators are for loners and losers.

Truth: According to the Indiana study, married women are more likely to use vibrators (50 percent) than singles (29 percent).

Myth: If women need vibrators to have orgasms, there's something wrong with them.

Truth: Not at all. Some women just need more intense stimulation than fingers and/or a tongue can provide. In the Indiana study, compared with women who never used vibrators, those who did reported greater likelihood of orgasm, greater sexual desire, easier arousal, more self-lubrication (meaning less discomfort during intercourse), and equal or better sexual satisfaction.

According to a 1999 report in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 25 percent of women have difficulty having orgasms, or can't have them. Fortunately, sex therapists enjoy great success teaching women to have the orgasms. The program is detailed in the classic self-help book, Becoming Orgasmic by two sex therapists. Guess what they recommend as part of the learning process? A vibrator.

Myth: If women need vibrators to enjoy sex and have orgasms, there's something wrong with the way their men make love.

Truth: Not necessarily. Many perfectly normal women cannot have orgasms without the intense stimulation vibrators provide. Others can, but it takes them longer than they or their lovers would like. Couples should discuss the kinds of erotic play they enjoy, and coach each other about what turns them on.

In addition, men should base their lovemaking on whole-body massage that includes the genitals, but is not fixated on them. Men should understand that only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic solely from vaginal intercourse because it doesn't provide much direct stimulation of the clitoris, which sits outside the vagina and above it, nestled beneath the top junction of the vaginal lips. To enjoy orgasm, three-quarters of women need direct clitoral stimulation from fingers, a tongue, a vibrator, or anything else that lights an erotic fire. Assuming a man engages in leisurely, playful, creative, whole-body sensuality--and pays particular erotic attention to the woman's clitoris--there is absolutely nothing wrong with him if the woman needs or prefers a vibrator to bring her to orgasm.

Myth: If women enjoy vibrators in partner sex, men are left out.

Truth. Absolutely not. Vibrators provide only one thing, intense stimulation. They can't kiss women, embrace or massage them, warm the bed, tell jokes, say, "I love you," or do anything else lovers provide to support and enjoy each other. Vibrators don't replace men. All they do is provide especially intense erotic stimulation.

Myth: Vibrators are unnatural.

Truth: Vibrators are as natural as any other erotic enhancement: perfume, music, candle light, or lingerie.

Myth: Vibrators are addictive.

Truth: Do carpenters become addicted to power tools? No, power tools just get the job done faster. Many women really love their vibrators, but that's a personal preference, not an addiction. Addiction involves tolerance--over time it takes more of the addictive agent to obtain the desired effect. That's not true with vibrators. In fact, as women become more comfortable with vibrators and use them to explore the full range of their own erotic responsiveness, many find that it takes less vibrator stimulation to provide the enjoyment they want.

Myth: Vibrators ruin women for sex without them.

Truth: Does driving ruin you for walking? No, it just gets you there faster. The same is true for sex with and without vibrators. The body responds to erotic stimulation no matter where it comes from: fingers, tongue, penis, or vibrator. Using a vibrator-even frequently-does not change the body's ability to respond to other types of sexual stimulation.

Myth: Vibrators numb the genitals.

Truth: Sometimes, but not often. In the Indiana survey, 11 percent of vibrator users reported occasional numbness and 3 percent experienced it frequently. If a vibrator causes numbing, don't press it so hard into the vulva and clitoris.

Myth: Vibrators cause urinary tract infections (UTI).

Truth: UTIs are caused by digestive tract bacteria that exit the body during defecation. As a result, the anal canal and the skin around the anus become contaminated with them. If a vibrator (or anything else) comes in contact with these bacteria, and then touches the vulva, the bacteria can travel up the urethra and cause a UTI. Keep track of what your vibrator touches. If it touches the anus, wash it before it touches the vulva. Or cover it with a condom for anal play and remove the condom for vulva/vaginal play. It's not vibrators, per se, that cause UTIs, but rather careless use.

Date: 4-03-2011, 22:07 | Category: Article | Views: 1980

A lot of oral sex. / All About Oral Sex.

Oral sex. Blow jobs. Giving head. Mouth-petting the love bunny. (OK, I made that last one up.)

You've got questions about oral sex, and you deserve some straight answers. Find them here - and if you've still got questions, ask them in the Teen Advice forum or email me.

A lot of oral sex. / All About Oral Sex.

What's Oral Sex?

Oral sex is any type of sex that involves stimulating someone's genitals with your mouth.

OK, Then What's a Blow Job?

"Blow job" (sometimes spelled "blowjob") is slang for fellatio, or oral sex performed on a man. Lord knows why it's called that. There's no blowing involved (usually just licking or sucking). In fact, blowing into a penis can cause some major damage, so it's probably best to forget that phrase altogether. You might also hear the phrase "giving head," which is also a slang term for oral sex on a man.

Can Women Get Blow Jobs, Too?

The technical term for oral sex performed on a woman is "cunnilingus." Some slang terms you might also hear are "going down" or "eating out." They all mean the same thing.

How Do You Give Oral Sex to Someone?

Oral sex comes down to a matter of personal taste (no pun intended). Your partner will have his or her own likes and dislikes that can't be learned anywhere except communicating with him or her directly. If you want to learn some basics, though, you can read this (for tips on giving oral sex on a man) and this (for tips on giving oral sex to a woman).

Is Oral Sex Safe?

Not exactly. If your partner has an STD and you have a cold sore or tiny cut on your mouth or gums, the disease can be passed to you. It works in the other direction, too: if you're receiving oral sex and your partner has an STD, he or she might be hooking you up with a nasty, lifelong disease like genital herpes, syphilis or even HIV.

How Can I Have Oral Sex in a Safe Way?

If there's a barrier between your mouth and your partner's genitals (or vice versa), then any infections that either of you has are stopped in their tracks. So if you want to have safe oral sex, put on a condom (if you're performing a blow job) or use a dental dam (if you're performing cunnilingus).

If you've got a longterm partner, you can get tested for STDs and, if you're both negative, safely have oral sex without the protection...assuming that neither of you fools around with anyone else.

Can You Get Pregnant from Oral Sex?

Nope. As you learned from the What is Sex? article, Penis + Vagina = Pregnancy, and unless those two folks meet up and get personal, you can't make a baby. There's no doubt that blowjobs are incredibly intimate and expose you to the risk of STDs, but unless you were born with a uterus in your throat, you can't get pregnant from giving one.

If You Have Oral Sex, Are You Still a Virgin?

That totally depends on how you define the word "virgin." For some people, virginity ends when you're sexually intimate with someone else, and oral sex is about as intimate as you can get. But whether or not you want to consider yourself a virgin after going down on someone (or having someone go down on you) is entirely up to you.

Date: 4-03-2011, 21:52 | Category: Article | Views: 2357

What is Clothing fetish or garment fetish is a sexual fetish ?

Clothing fetish or garment fetish is a sexual fetish that revolves around a fixation upon a particular article or type of clothing, a collection of garments that appear as part of a fashion or uniform, or a person dressed in such a garment.

The clinical definition of a sexual fetish would require that a person be fixated on a specific garment to the extent that it exists as an exclusive stimulus for sexual gratification.

One who exhibits a clothing fetish may be aroused by the sight of a person wearing a particular garment, or by wearing the garment oneself which can be because of the look one achieves by wearing it or the way it feels while it is being worn . In later case arousal may originate from the way its fabric feels or from the way the garment feels and functions as whole .

Others with a clothing fetish may be aroused by the sight of such garments, even without wearing them and in the absence of other person wearing them, and may also derive pleasure from collecting them.

What is Clothing fetish or garment fetish is a sexual fetish ?

Relative prevalence of garment fetishism.

In order to determine the relative prevalences of different fetishes, researchers at the University of Bologna obtained a sample of at least 5000 individuals worldwide from 381 Internet discussion groups. The relative prevalences were estimated based on the number of groups devoted to a particular fetish, the number of individuals participating in the groups and the number of messages exchanged. The top garment fetish was footwear related followed by the costumes and the jackets.

By garment type.

Though almost any type of garment in theory can be the subject of a fetish, common clothing fetishes include footwear, female underwear and uniforms. A wide range of other garments have been the subject of less common fetishes.

Separate from fetishes as a paraphilia, are garments worn to enhance appearance; in this case the differentiator is whether for the person concerned, the clothing is the focus of a sexual fetish, or is merely appreciated and found pleasing and enhancing.

Restrictive clothing.

Clothing that limits the wearer's movement is commonly used for this property, particularly among bondage enthusiasts and it has common appearance in bondage-related fetish fashion. Such restrictive fashion, among others, includes corsets, hobble skirts and high-heeled footwear. Because items it includes are what in modern western society mostly belongs to women's fashion, male restrictive clothing fetishists can have problems in obtaining and using such items without being labeled as transvestites.


The training corset and bondage corset has also become a staple in fetish wear, particularly among dominatrices. A submissive or slave may also be forced to wear a tightly laced corset as a form of punishment or simply restriction. And the masochistic practice known as tightlacing creates a particular type of pleasure for the wearer. In the 1980s, pop music performers such as Madonna and Cyndi Lauper reintroduced and popularized the corset as a daring outerwear garment. This influence continues to the present day in both fetish and mainstream fashion.

Hobble skirts.

A hobble skirt is a long, tight skirt, extending below the knees and often ankle length, which is so tight that it is difficult to walk in. When used as fetish clothing, it is often made of latex or PVC and sometimes corseted, to increase the restriction.

Such skirts were briefly a mainstream fashion in the 1910s, however, they were soon abandoned as impractical. They were revived in the 1950s by John Willie and others as a bondage/fetish style.


Stocking fetishists usually find sexual partners clothed in sheer nylon or silk stockings to be sexually stimulating, or find the act of a person donning or removing a pair of stockings arousing. Some men find it arousing to collect and wear stockings, sometimes hidden under a pair of trousers.


Among the most common uniforms in uniform fetish are those of a schoolgirl, nurse, French maid, waitress, cheerleader and Playboy Bunny. Some people also regard nuns' habits or even aprons as uniforms. Sometimes, a uniform may be used appropriate to what is being done. For example, someone may wear a nurse's uniform to administer an enema, a police uniform to handcuff and cage someone, or two equals dress as inmates for cell mate on cell mate activities in a prison setting or as submissive to a third (guard) player. This may add a sense of authenticity to the game play.

Date: 4-03-2011, 16:08 | Category: Article | Views: 2129

That there Sexual fetishism ?

Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object. The object of interest is called the fetish, the person a fetishist who has a fetish for that object. Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g. in psychiatric medicine, as a disorder of sexual preference or as an enhancing element to a relationship causing a better sexual bond between the partners. Arousal from a particular body part is not to be confused with fetishism because it is classified as partialism.

That there Sexual fetishism ?


The term was first introduced by Alfred Binet.

If a fetish causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life, it is diagnosable as a paraphilia in the DSM and the ICD. Many people embrace their fetish rather than attempting treatment to rid themselves of it.

In a review of the files of all cases over a 20-year period which met criteria for non-transvestic fetishes in a teaching hospital, 48 cases were identified, and the objects of their fetishes included clothing (58.3%), rubber and rubber items (22.9%), footwear (14.6%), body parts (14.6%), leather jackets and vests, and leather items (10.4%), and soft materials and fabrics (6.3%)


Alfred Binet, a lawyer and hypnotist proposed that fetishes be classified as either "spiritual love" or "plastic love". "Spiritual love" occupied the devotion for specific mental phenomena, such as attitudes, social class, or occupational roles; while "plastic love" referred to the devotion exhibited towards material objects such as body parts, textures or shoes.

The existential approach to mental disorders developed in the 1940s and influenced a view that fetishes had complex personal meanings beyond the general categories of psychoanalytical treatment.[citation needed] For instance, the Austrian neurologist and logotherapist Viktor Frankl once noted the case of a man with a sexual fetish involving, simultaneously, both frogs and glue.

The concept of spiritual love is not accepted globally because it is impossible to fully define what exactly is "spiritual love." Also, Binet is not a credible source because he focused mostly on law and natural science, rather than sexual fetishes. Mental phenomena, attitudes, and social class are all things that can be obsessed over, but it is hard to prove that they would be a sexual obsession. It is also hard to incorporate any "idea" into a sexual act or stimulation. However, a mental obsession, such as an idea or excessive thought, can be progressed into a "plastic love." For example, role playing. If a person has a mental obsession with cowboys, their partner could dress up as a cowboy to make it a real thing or "plastic love."

Psychological origins and development

Modern psychology assumes that fetishism either is being conditioned or imprinted or the result of a strong emotional (i.e., traumatic) or physical experience. Often, these experiences were experienced in early childhood. For example, an individual who has been physically abused could either have a sexual obsession with intercourse, or they could be completely terrified by even the idea of being touched. It is assumed that those who have been sexually abused create an obsession with being touched or touching others, and possibly even abuse someone else. Physical factors like brain construction and heredity are also considered possible explanations. In the following, the most important theories are presented in chronological order:

Alfred Binet suspected fetishism was the pathological result of associations. Accidentally simultaneous presentation of a sexual stimulus and an inanimate object, he argued, led to the object being permanently connected to sexual arousal.

Sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld followed another line of thought when he proposed his theory of partial attractiveness in 1920. According to his argument, sexual attractiveness never originates in a person as a whole but always is the product of the interaction of individual features. He stated that nearly everyone had special interests and thus suffered from a healthy kind of fetishism, while only detaching and overvaluing of a single feature resulted in pathological fetishism. Today, Hirschfeld's theory is often mentioned in the context of gender role specific behavior: females present sexual stimuli by highlighting body parts, clothes or accessories; males react to them.

In 1951, Donald Winnicott presented his theory of transitional objects and phenomena, according to which childish actions like thumb sucking and objects like cuddly toys are the source of manifold adult behavior, amongst many others fetishism.

The use of a transitional object in infanthood is a healthy experience (Winnicott, 1953). To understand the origin of a fetish object and of fetishism, the infants use of the transitional object and of transitional phenomena in general must be studied (Winnicott, 1953).

In his article Transitional objects and phenomena, Winnicott says about fetish: Fetish can be described in terms of a persistence of a specific object or type of object dating from infantile experience in the transitional field, linked with the delusion of a maternal phallus (Winnicott, 1953). In other words, a specific object or type of object, dating from an experience during the period where the mother gradually pulls back as an immediate provider of satisfaction of the childs desires, persists as a characteristic in adult sexual life.

Before this transitional phase, the child believes that his own wish creates the object of his desire (specifically the qualities of his mother that fulfill his needs), which brings with it a sense of satisfaction. During this phase the child gradually adapts to the (frustrating) realization that the object cannot be controlled to serve the child's needs.

The transitional object is always the result of a gratifying relationship with the mother, specifically with the maternal body. It stands for the satisfying qualities that the object (the mother/ father) of the first relationship the child has. The child adapts to the impact of the realization that the mother is not always there to bring the world to him through fantasizing about the object of his desire while using an object (a teddy bear, a piece of cloth). He creates an illusion of the previous object. In relation to the transitional object the infant passes from (magical) omnipotent control to control by manipulation (involving muscle eroticism and co-ordination pleasure).

In opposition to this, the fetish represents the impossibility of pleasure with the body of the mother or the paternal body in the case of females. Fetishism, although less abundant in occurrence in the female psyche, or of a different nature, is not the monopoly of men. The transitional object may eventually develop into a fetish object and so persist as a characteristic of the adult sexual life (Winnicott, 1953). Normally, the child gains from the experience of frustration during the transitional phase, although the infant can be disturbed by a close adaptation to need that is continued too long or is not allowed its natural decrease.

Behaviorism traced fetishism back to classical conditioning and came up with numerous specialized theories. The common theme running through all of them is that sexual stimulus and the fetish object are presented simultaneously causing them to be connected in the learning process. This is similar to Binet's early theory, though it differs in that it specifies association to classical conditioning and leaves out any judgment about pathogenicity. The super stimulus theory stressed that fetishes could be the result of generalization. For example, it may only be shiny skin that arouses a person at first, but in time more common stimuli, such as shiny latex, may have the same effect. The problem with such a theory was that classical conditioning normally needs many repetitions, but this form would require only one. To account for this the preparedness theory was put forward; it stated that reacting to an object with sexual arousal could be the result of an evolutionary process, because such a reaction could prove to be useful for survival. In pointing to how conditioned sexual behavior can persist over time, one may cite how, in 2004, when quails were trained to copulate with a piece of terry cloth, their conditioning was sustained through ongoing repetition.

Because classical conditioning seemed to be unable to explain how the conditioned behavior is kept alive over many years, without any repetition, some behaviorists came up with the theory that fetishism was the result of a special form of conditioning, called imprinting. Such conditioning happens during a specific time in early childhood in which sexual orientation is imprinted into the child's mind and remains there for the rest of his or her life.

Various neurologists pointed out that fetishism could be the result of neuronal cross links between neighboring regions in the human brain. For example, in 2002 Vilayanur S. Ramachandran stated that the region processing sensory input from the feet lies immediately next to the region processing sexual stimulation.

Today, psychodynamics has parted with the idea of proposing one explanation for all fetishes at the same time. Instead, it focuses on one form of fetishism at a time and the patients' individual problems. Over the past decades, various case studies have been published in which fetishism could successfully be linked to emotional problems. Some argue that a lack of parental love leads to a child projecting its affection to inanimate objects, others state in consent with Freud's model of psychosexual development that premature suppression of sexuality could lead to a child getting stuck in a transitory phase. One of Freuds defense mechanisms, displacement, is the redirection of an impulse onto a substitute target. Someone who feels uncomfortable with their sexual desire for a real person may therefore substitute a fetish.

Most of the material on fetishism is in reference to heterosexual men, with most of the objects fetishized being highly feminine items such as lingerie, hosiery, and high-heeled footwear. In contrast, for homosexual men most of the objects fetishized tend to be highly masculine.

However, the visual map of fetishes linked below flags several clusters as having a number of women admirers, such as corsetry and some of the medical-related fetishes. The preferences of women fetishists are not necessarily a mirror image of those of male fetishists; just because many men are attracted to women in high heels, it does not necessarily mean there are many women attracted to men in construction boots.

The book Female Perversions, which also discussed corsetry and self-cutting, in part discusses "female transvestism". It gave examples both of women who became excited by dressing in a "butch" way, i.e. the mirror image of male transvestite fetishism, and of women who became aroused by dressing in a very "femme" way, or parallel to male transvestite fetishism.

Date: 4-03-2011, 14:29 | Category: Article | Views: 3028

All about Anal Sex

Anal Sex

All about Anal Sex

Anal sex is stimulation of the anus during sexual activity. It can be done in several different ways: manually, orally or by anal intercourse.

Anal sex can be the primary form of sexual activity or it can accompany other types of stimulation. For instance, couples sometimes include manual stimulation of the anus (either lightly rubbing the rim or inserting a finger into the anus) during vaginal intercourse. Others use the tongue in a similar fashion for oral stimulation.

Anal intercourse is the insertion of a man's penis into his partner's rectum. Although anal sex is often thought of as a strictly homosexual activity, many heterosexual couples enjoy it too.

Anal penetration can be pleasurable, but it can also be a source of physical discomfort. The muscle on the outside of the rectum, called the anal sphincter, ordinarily tightens if stimulated, which means that attempts at insertion of the penis, or even a finger, may be uncomfortable even if done slowly and gently. If penetration into the anus is forced, injury is possible. It is helpful to use a lubricant liberally and to relax and gradually dilate the sphincter by gentle manual stimulation before attempting penetration.

Some people empty the rectum with a disposable enema before anal intercourse. Since the rectum contains bacteria that are capable of causing infection, anything -- fingers, objects, a penis -- that has contact with the anus should not subsequently be in contact with the vagina or mouth until it has been thoroughly washed.

Some people have strong negative attitudes toward anal sex, whether it takes place between homosexual or heterosexual couples. They may think of it as being unclean, unnatural, perverted, disgusting or simply unappealing. It is sometimes regarded as the ultimate in depravity and has regularly been condemned by religious and secular authorities.

Historically, religious groups have objected because a woman cannot get pregnant through anal sex, and these groups approved of sexual intercourse only for the purpose of reproduction.

Anal sex was up until recently subject to legal restrictions in many states, even between married couples. In general these statutes refer to anal sex acts as "crimes against nature," going back to the view that heterosexual intercourse, with its reproductive potential, is the only natural, healthy, nonsinful way of having sexual relations. These laws are strongly biased toward the prosecution of homosexuals because penetrative anal sex is far more common among gay men than it is among heterosexual couples.

Its important to remember that HIV can be transmitted through anal sex, especially anal intercourse. The risk of HIV transmission is greater than in vaginal intercourse because the lining of the rectum tears more easily than the vagina. The resulting skin breaks and bleeding increase the possibility of the transmission of bodily fluids containing the virus that causes AIDS.

Those who engage in either vaginal or anal penetrative sexual acts should use latex condoms, the best way to reduce the likelihood of HIV transmission

Condoms are excellent for preventing the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. Condoms must be made of latex, not lambskin or other substances, to prevent STDs.

Anal Warts can be sexually transmitted from anal sex; check out that article for more. They aren't always an STD, however.

Date: 18-02-2011, 15:37 | Category: Article | Views: 2129